Being a confident parent

Are you a new parent? One thing that you should remember is in parenthood... no one can give you a perfect formula, a rule book and a 100% guarantee of being a perfect parent. Perfection can only be found in the make-believe world. The only thing new parents have to guide them are their own experience and hand-me-down methods from their own parents and grandparents. But most of the time, those methods are likely to be inappropriate for our modern age. Certain things never change in life, like values, love, responsibilities etc., but most parenting is learned as you go along, from one stage to another.
It is important that you believe in yourself. Believe that you will be a good parent... you know for yourself that you will do anything for your child. So don't be too hard to yourself. Often the desire for perfection in our parenting skills makes us feel insecure, doubt our abilities and keeps us feeling anxious, even when we cannot do anymore. Just be you and do what comes naturally. Every process, from birth to adulthood of your child is a learning process for a parent. You will learn from your child and your child will learn from you. Enjoy the process and the opportunity to nourish, raise and love your child in your own way. Stop comparing yourself to others and your child as well. Let your instinct tell you how its going to be...
Believe me, you'll never go wrong.

Keeping my kids fit

My eldest daughter is a shy type one. She doesn't enjoy team sports or any of its kind. She doesn't enjoy being in front of the crowd. But she's an active kid when it comes to academic. I want her to stay fit and healthy even without doing too much physical activities. And do some remedies. So, If your kids are like my daughter, Here's what you can do:

• Provide her healthy foods.

           The most important part of staying fit is to eat healthy. You can work on a menu with them, if they like the food they are eating they will be more likely to stay healthy and not eat the junk food instead.

•  Exercise together

           You can tell your child to exercise all you want, but the likelihood of them exercising on their own is slim to none, but if you work together then they are more likely to exercise. this is a good opportunity to have a special bonding with your kids too.

Cooking is fun

As a mother, I always want to spend good and quality time with my kids. I enjoy having quality times with them through cooking. Preparing  merienda or dinner with your kids can be a disaster and a  wonderful experience that teaches your kids and gives you a memory to treasure. But you won't exchange it for anything else. :)
I have had some wonderful memories of laughing while cooking with my kids. Although you may think twice of the possible mess, I still urge you to try cooking with your kids. There are benefits that outweigh the mess and possible frustration. One benefit is that a child is more likely to eat what she has a hand in cooking.
Be patient. Knowing you will clean a spill or two and that cooking may take a little bit longer. Convince yourself to be okay. Your kids will one day grow old enough to want nothing to do with the kitchen so enjoy the time you have. 
Make sure you have everything you need out and ready before you start. You do not want to be struggling to find the measuring cup while unbeknown to you... your toddler is adding her own ingredients to the bowl.

Most of all. Enjoy!!!

Special Bonding

It is important that we give our kids the attention they need. Being a mother or parents doesn't end with giving them food or providing them their needs. Our children also need attention, love and time.
Even a few minutes of conversation about their school activities, on how their days went and so on. It is important that you will be a special part of their day.
Me, I see to it that no matter how busy I am from work and daily activities, I still have time for them. I see to it that they will feel my love and presence everyday of their lives. And I want to see how they grow day by day.

Its funny

Its funny and heart warming when you see your child dancing and singing with the other kids... playing and start drawing on her own. This is what I felt when i see my youngest drawing her first man.  A round head, round eyes, round nose, round hands, body and everything.
I know you just can't imagine how it looks like. I'm telling you, it looks like a man though.... just a little bit funny.

We should encourage our children to do things on their own, no matter how it will look like. This would help them build their self confidence and feel good about ourselves. It will also make them feel secured. The way we react with their accomplishment will have a large contribution on how they will see themselves

Help your child develop self confidence

It is important to help your child develop his or her self confidence. Self confidence helps a child achieve the fullest mode of his or her personality. Without self confidence, I child is always lost and always seeking approval of his/her peer and parents, easily influence by other people.
Here are some tips that I can give to help parents help their child develop self confidence.

• Encourage your child to do things on his own. Do not laugh or criticize over a work done. Let the child feel good on accomplishing a task.
• Praise your child when he did or accomplish something. Let him feel that she can do more.
• Let your child realize his weakness and strength. Explain that it is normal that at some point he is not so good. Encourage him to develop his skills and talents.
  
• Teach your child to be responsible in everything that he do. Screaming and yelling wont do anything good. This would only bring fear to your child. Instead, make him pay for what he did. if he mess the house, then let him clean the mess. Even if it takes 1 week. Let him realize that there are rewards/consequences for the things that he do.
  

a new pet?

As a mom, I want my kids to grow up with affection to animals. We have dogs here in our house, cats and fish. My kids loves them. But do you know that my kids have a new friend... I won't call it a pet because I seldom see it. But if by chance it appears to us... my daughter Zea would grab a stick, and put a piece of rice at one end... and feed it. While beax, my youngest would run as far as she could while crying. And then would go back  and look at it, while hiding behind me. Soon she will be joining her sister in feeding it. You wanna know what is it? It is what we call "tuko" or gecko in English. My kids love imitating its sound. Once they hear it, they would imitate it.

The best for the best

As a mother, of course I want to give the best to my kids. I believe I did it when I decided to give them breast milk rather than formula milk. It’s my personal choice. I believe that when it comes to feeding babies there is nothing as good as breast milk.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural and beneficial acts a mother can do for her child. Breast milk is perfectly suited to the baby. Breast milk is the one and only natural and complete nutrition for infants.  It is nature's formula for ensuring the health and quality of life for infants.  Just as importantly, breastfeeding promotes a very special bond between mother and child that only a mother can provide.  It also strengthens the tie between mother and child. Lots of benefits have been proven to pass from mother to child through breast milk.  From antibodies which protect an infant at birth...to the exclusive nutrients in mother's milk which have been shown to prevent a number of childhood diseases. Breastfeeding reduce the risk of chronic constipation, colic, and other stomach upsets.

Breastfeeding also give benefits to the breastfeeding mother. It reduces risk of breast, ovarian, cervical, and endometrial cancers. It is free. It will help us save a lot of money from expensive formula milk that is less in nutrition compared to breast milk.

Breast milk is always ready, no time needed to prepare. There are many more benefits… too many to list. From satisfaction of mother and child to the security it brings…benefits that only mother can tell.

Hush baby...no more tantrums please

Tantrums

I think this is a familiar word to parents. When a child didn’t get what she likes… it is possible to show tantrums to express her frustration. Of course we know that it’s not right. But at an early age, kids do not understand things like this.  What we have to do is make them realize that it is wrong. Some children throw tantrums and some never do. Luckily, my kids do not. Although I am aware that it is possible. Children throw tantrums as a way of expressing anger and frustration. ( I don’t know who is the founder of tantrums) If the behavior is dealt with incorrectly, the child may learn to use it to manipulate people and to gain attention. So our response towards their tantrums matters. In dealing with tantrums, the ultimate goal is to teach the child acceptable ways of expressing anger and not to suppress them their emotions

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

What is the right thing to do during child’s tantrums? Give in? Spank her? Yell at her? Leave her?  The thing that we should remember, is to remain firm and calm. Giving in just to stop the child, would likely repeat tantrums in another situation. You’re just teaching her how to manipulate you. Because the child will think that she will get what she want, if she do that.

Spanking and yelling, on the other hand would only make the situation worse. It would make the child hurt, more frustrated and angry.  

SO WHAT IS THE BEST THING TO DO?

The best thing that you can do in times like this, is remain calm. Depending on the situation… you can use different methods in handling your child’s tantrums.

In public places

In public places, if possible, carry the child out of area so you can have more privacy. If you have a car, then that is the best place to take her.  Do not give in, just to stop the child. If you cannot find any private place or you are in a situation that you cannot just go, just ignore your screaming child and give her time to realize that you are not buying her acts. Stay close to her and tell her that people are looking at her because of what she’s doing.  Children, at young age acknowledge the presence of strangers. They seek for security, and more likely would come into your arms. When the child is calm, that is the time to talk to her. Remind her of what she did, everything that she did so she would understand what you are talking about, and tell her that it is wrong. It is not the way to get what she wants, and that it is not the right way to express her emotions.

At home

You can put your child in a safe place, like play pen or crib and leave her alone. Just be sure that the place is safe. Or you can stay beside her, just ignore her as if you are not hearing nor seeing her. Read book or open your computer…whatever you like to do.  This would help her understand that her tantrums are not doing her anything good. When she is calm, talk to her and ask her what she wants. This way, she would realize that talking to you is the best way to get your attention.

It may be long before your child can fully gain self control… and she is counting on you as she is learning.

Not enough time

Are you a full time mother? Do you personally cook their food before going to school? Do you personally bring and fetch them from school? Do you spend a good quantity of time with them everyday? If you are a full time mother like me, you can easily do that. But if you are not... time is not enough  to be able to do all the things that you have to do in the day.
Not all mother in this world is a full time mother. Some are working for their living. we cannot blame them, because they are only doing that for the family esp the kids. Kids need to eat, study, buy basic needs... and to be able to do that, we need money. To be able to have money, when you are a single parent or if your husband income is not enough... Even a mother needs to work.
What should you do  if you are working, yet you want to be a part of your children's growing years.
Here is what i usually do, which may help you spend good times with your kids even if you are working.

Before going to work, either you will go first or your kids... but do not forget to say goodbye to them. A  wake up kiss is a good start. If you have enough time to personally put their food in their lunch box, the better. A simple note from mommy like... "I love you baby" or "Be good in school" is another way of reaching your kids.
After work, either a 15 minutes of your time or during dinner time, ask them about their day. A few chat about school, or problems or assignments is enough.
Don't forget the goodnight kiss... if possible a bed time story. My kids loves it.
During rest day, like Sunday... spend a quality time together. A simple brownies cooking, or blowing bubbles in the garden, or a picnic perhaps... would make up all the time that you are not around.

Lastly, let your kids feel that you love them... say it more often, show it in every possible way.

I just hope it helps.

Super Mom?

Being a mom is not easy. From giving birth to raising your kids... tough job! It's exciting at the same time challenging. The best way to start being a super mom is when your child start eating. What your child eat will have a big contribution in his daily activity. I will give you some tips to make you raise your baby well and make you super mom at the same time.

1. When your baby is around six months old, he still needs regular breast milk or formula feedings but you now is the time to explore the new world of tastes and textures of solid food.
2. When deciding what their baby needs to eat, a super-mom accepts nothing less than all-natural ingredients, and always avoids added refined sugar and salt. Read the labels, and introduce it gradually.
3. Foods with whole grain oats will offer sustained energy release throughout the day and foods with an easy to digest source of protein, like whey protein, provide the building blocks of muscle growth.

When you're sure your giving your baby the best, be sure to take time to reward yourself. Once your baby is tucked into bed in the evening, slip out of your super-mom cape, treat yourself to a soak in a warm bath, light some scented candles and enjoy a good book. You can relax knowing you've done your job and that your baby is receiving high-quality foods that can help them grow, think, play and sleep.

Strike a pose

Today, we took a picture for the identification card of my daughter and her classmates in their preschool class. All went well... some students gave their best smile (including my daughter) while others seem to see a ghost in my camera (they look shock). As I scan the photos, I noticed that one of the picture is different from the others. The picture of my daughter. I find it cute, but I don't know if it is suitable as an ID picture with her pose... lol.
I decided to use it anyway.
I think that my daughter able to do that because she is comfortable with the photographer (that's me!). Hmmm... parents are the best comfort zone of their children...and that's a fact!

Zea lost her two front teeth

Well... I think my baby is growing up. She lost her 2 upper front teeth a couple of days ago. She told me that her classmates were teasing her. I can't help but laugh at her... with her face frowned. One time she asked me when will she have her teeth back. So I decided to explain to her that she have to wait until her permanent teeth comes out...and when it happens, she has to take care of her teeth. Every time I see her smile, I cant help but smile. She looks cute.
I remember a couple of years ago, I was so excited when i saw her front tooth coming out. It seems that it was only yesterday. I am not sure if I am ready to see my baby a full grown woman years from now.

Be a good example

As a mother, I want my kids to grow up well. I want them to be healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. I think every mother in the world...or should I say every parents in the world want the best for their kids. Teaching them as they grow will contribute a lot on how they are going to be when they grow up. And the best way to teach them is by being a good example to them. I don't want my kids to be boastful, so I myself avoid to be one. I believe what they see in me will affect on how they will set their principles. I always have time for my kids. We eat together, play together, assist them with their homeworks...in short, I'm a hands-on mama. I want to do things personally for them. We have a helper in our house, to wash the clothes, clean the house...etc. But when it comes to my kids... I do things personally. I want them to grow up knowing how it feels to be important... so when they already have their own family and kids... their will have the idea on how to make their kids feel important.
One problem that I have now is... I don't eat vegetables. Or should I say, I'm choosy in the vegetables I eat. How am i going to teach my kids to eat vegetables? :P

Tips in designing baby's bedroom

I have been chatting with one of my college friends... Well our topic is about her newborn baby. She wanted to decorate the room for her 2 weeks old baby. She asked me if I could help her with it. The decisions to be made may seem endless when deciding how to decorate your baby's room, I believe that it is because as parents, we want the best for our child, we want everything to be absolutely perfect. I believe that the room we decorate for our kids would contribute a lot in their being. This are some few tips that I have learned and applied when I was in that stage. Hope it will help.

The first step in creating an atmosphere for your baby that will make him feel comfortable and loved. During the first few months of a baby, I learned that they already see but not that clear. So, I prefer to use high contrasting colors like red, black and white. It will easily get their attention. As they grow old... you can start adding some colors or themes in your baby's bedroom. To stimulate your child's imagination and help in building his intelligence and creativity, choose interesting, colorful styles and patterns on his/her beddings or crib.

If it is possible, paint the walls with light colors. Then post some posters that would gain their attention. This would help you save when time comes that your child is getting older and you need to replace the designs and decoration in the room.

Parents should be aware of the danger of suffocation when it comes to infant and newborn. Though we want our child to have something to catch his/her attention while he/she is on his/her crib, self-suffocation can be life threatening if the proper precautions aren't taken. Keep all small items out of a child's crib until they're at least six months of age. Small pillows, toys and any other light objects that your child can move present an immediate risk to the well being of your child if they are left in a crib.

Beax is growing up

Well... my little baby is growing up. I have seen her growing and learning time after time... day after day. She doesn't know how happy I am to have her. She is so precious to me that I can give up everything just to see her happy. My daughters are my strength...the reason why I keep on going. They give me the reason to live, to dream and to pursue more. With Beax around, happiness that I felt when Zea was born... just keep on multiplying. I find it really funny when Beax make face while trying to get my attention. I find it touching when she keeps on practicing to call me mommy. It is always a wonderful feeling for me and I know...will always be. I want to share with you, some of the cute picures of my beloved Beax.

Fears of your child

Do you get surprised when your child esp during the toddler age at some stage asks to sleep in your bed because of the monster, ghost and vampire?  Fear is a perfectly normal part of childhood. even me during my childhood days. For young children, fantasy and reality are not distinct. Unlike adults, children cannot reason with their fear. The task of controlling the fear falls to the parents and guardians. The matter is complicated because what a child finds frightening can be very subjective. Some fears stem from common concerns like thunder, lightning or death; others arise through personal circumstances, trauma and experiences. No single method of control will work on every child for every fear. The problem has solutions, but they can't be addressed without understanding what fear is, and why it occurs.
The important thing is to help the child control the fear, rather than let the fear continue to control the child. The trick is making the fear seem insignificant without disregarding it, approaching it seriously without blowing it out of all proportion.
Don't belittle his fears. Say you understand and that you will help. Say that you will be there for him.Explain that adults get scared too, that fear is normal. Show how you face up to your fears and deal with them.
Change the focus. Distract him, and remove him from the frightening situation. Embrace him tight and make him feel secure.
Remember that at the end of the day, she's just a child. Kissing her forehead to dispel bad thoughts is a tried and tested method, as old and effective as blowing on a minor cut or graze.

Sweet memories

Well, for a mom like me... nothing is more special than the memories of their kids starting from the day that they were born up to the present. I never failed to smile whenever I see pictures of my kids during the early years of their life.
Who would not smile? I have seen and experienced the beauty of being a mom. The changes that it brings to my life, still surprises me. And I know that it is something that will surprise me in the coming years of my life.

Being a mom is never that easy, there are things that I have to give up for their sake, Responsibility bundles in motherhood. When I was young, I fear that I can't take the responsibility of being a mother... I am afraid to let go of my own freedom. But now, when I think back of those days... I feel that I wont exchange my kids for any freedom of being alone. Life has never been this beautiful.

If you are a mother like me... you know what i am talking about. If you are not, then I think it would be very nice, if you would give your mother a kiss for bringing you out in this world. There are lots of reasons to be thankful. Start it from the day that you were born.

What makes a special relationship

What makes a special relationship between parents and kids are the things that makes them feel secured with each other. As a mom, I want to feel secured that my kids are safe, I have time for them,  They are growing well, They love and respect me and that I am doing my responsibility well and I will be able to send them to good school. As kids, They want to feel that I love them, I'll take care of them and that they are important to me.

I think emotional security matters on how we are going to raise our kids. It is important that we treat our relationship to our kids as a special one. This way, they would feel and do the same. It will contribute on their well being and on everything that will be in time.

When your child is using prohibited drugs

What if you discover your child is using marijuana or any prohibited drugs? I know it is like a slap in the face. As a parents, you have tried your best to teach him or her what is wrong but somewhere you must have went wrong. Of course as a parent you feel guilty. Did you miss something important? Did you somehow cause this? Why did you not notice there was something going on? What did you miss? Are your efforts not enough?

You are in a shocked state of confusion. How can you handle the situation for the best possible outcome for both you and your child? It feels like you're going to burst any moment. What you should and should not do?

First you must remain calm. Do not confront your child until you are ready to take the problem head on. When over excited and hurt you may say things that will not help the situation but may only make it worse. If you are prefer to consult your spouse... do so and allow them to help with what needs to be done. Both of you or one of you need to come up with a place and plan to openly discuss this issue with your child. Come up with a plan as soon as you can. The problem is not going to go away and it needs addressing.

Make sure that when you confront your child they are not under the influence of any drug. They need a clear mind to focus just as you do. Making your plan work is going to need to make your child realize that what they are doing is wrong. Do not play the blame game with them. You need an upfront open confession that they have a problem and that they need to seek help. Sometimes this may require the work of family along with the help of professionals. Be prepared to enlist the help of others if you need to. Overall make sure that your child knows that you love and care for them and are not trying to harm them with the confrontation. Just as you were in denial your child has a problem they are too. If you child refuses your help or the help of professional it is difficult but you must keep up the fight. Go to a professional with your family or spouse. These counselors and therapists see problems like yours daily and can send you in the right direction to get your child help.

Once you have your child willing to seek help take them to a professionally trained counselor. A counselor can have your child do an assessment to see how bad their drug use is.

Together from now on

I've been living with my youngest in the city for years. My eldest is living with my parents in the province. I only see her during a small time vacation in the province. It's really painful every time I have to go and leave my daughter in the province. Something is missing. I feel that my kids wants to be together... and I want us to be together.
So I made a decision. I will be leaving the city and move into the province with my parents and my daughter.

My eldest daughter is very excited when she learned that I will be living in the province with her. She wants to be with me and with her sister. And I am so excited too. I want to be with her. I believe they are growing too fast and they need me more than ever to be with them.

Being a parent…

You cannot realize the depth and beauty of parenthood until you experienced it… You see the surface; you do not grasp the depth.


Before I never thought that it was true. All my life, I’ve memorized the words me and mine. Nothing in between…

I recall a lot of times when I ask my mom to buy me something that I want…. I remember how sad her face while explaining that we can’t afford to have one. Honestly, even though I understand her, sometimes, I still hope that she could do something to buy me one. I remember feeling sorry for myself…a little bit envy about the others.

Now that I am a mother of two… I realize how my mom felt during the time that she cannot give what I want. I want to give the best to my kids…everything that they need. But sometimes I fail... and I really feel bad about it.

Now, I wonder how my parents felt when I got married and left home to have a family of my own. Thinking about it in years to come…when my kids will be on their own too… Ouch! I don’t know how to take it.

I guess all parents experience this sad separation when they see their kids get older, have friends, get married, and leave home.

But love is like that.

It is giving oneself without expecting anything in return.

Have you ever not wonder… you see mom busy about the house, serving the family, taking care of the kids, doing chores, 7 days a week…, no day off… no promotion… no salary at all.

If I want to get paid… then it isn’t love. It’s a business opportunity.

I love my kids…and wherever life takes them, my precious children can never be taken away from my heart.

It's another time to celebrate!

November 30, 2004, 1:30 pm... my little Beax was born.

November 30, 2004 at 7:00 in the morning I realized that I am about to give birth. I called my mom and let her know... and then I called my mother in law. As I am waiting and preparing, I decided to go to the store and buy video tape to record some important details just like with the birth of Zea.
I will never forget the moment that I held her in my arms. She was so tiny.3. and from the day she was born, we shared the same bed even in the hospital. I want to share with you some photos with Beax on her first few days.

My baby is a princess

I woke up early this morning. I rushed to the house of my daughter's grandparents (their daddy's side). Beax joined the parade for the feast in honor of Santo Rosario. It was not the first time she joined, but during the past years... she's with her ate (elder sister). I know how excited she was to wear her gown and join the parade...and I felt the same. I was the one who fixed her hair, dressed her and put a little make up on her face. My baby is a princess... my heart keeps on chanting as she rode her seat. Her karosa (carroza, float...whatever! i don't know how to call it) was designed by her father and her mama Cel. It was simple yet beautiful. She was escorted by her cousin Luis.
Here are some of the pictures that i like to share with you.

My princess is growing up

After a couple of hours, It was Zea's turn. During the past years, Zea was with her younger sister in the karakol parade...but not this time. Zea already moved into the parade... with the grown up princesses. She's no longer a baby princess. It was the mark that she's growing up. Zea was wearing a violet gown, simple yet elegant. She was escorted by her cousins, Luis and Leon. I knew how happy she was, as she walked down the street with grace. She have waited so long for this day. My daughter Zea, loves to look beautiful always...and I know she felt beautiful with her gown and crown. In her young heart, and in mine... she's really a princess.

First Few days with Zea

Being a mom....

I can never explain the feeling. I can still remember looking at the tiny human being in my arms...peacefully sleeping. I can't remember any moment during that time that I want to miss... I watched her breathing, examined her hairline, looked at her toes, her hands, her face...everything about her, I want to discover. Looking at her...I felt a little awkward saying the word... my child. It did not roll off my tongue easily... it was like saying a foreign word...I really don't know how to fit it in. But as I held her close... It was my heart who did it right. It seems to be enchanting and I just keep on repeating those words...bewitched with the tenderness it brings... The moment was magical... it was indeed a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.

Nothing but her first

It was Saturday afternoon... January 5, 2002, when we decided to visit my OB for my regular check up. It was then that my OB informed me that my baby is on her way out. I am 8 months pregnant during that time. At exactly, 5:00 pm, I was been admitted, induced and monitored all through out the night.
January 6, 2002...my OB talked to me. She told me that I have to deliver
my baby through caesarian operation. At exactly 6:30 pm... my beloved Zea was born...

It's Mothers Day

Today, we are celebrating mothers day... A very special day indeed. Not just because I am a mother, but also because I have a mother who never fails to make me feel loved. We are all aware of the important role of a mother in our lives. And I consider myself very lucky to have a mother, who is always there for me... never get tired of taking care of me and my dad... and even my kids. She is my mentor, my friend, my critic and my mother all wrapped in one.
I have faced every struggles and hardships in life... and no matter what happen... she is always there for me.
Now, that I am a mother to my two kids... I wanted to be just like my mom.
A mother's love is so deep...so deep that you can't reach the bottom. A mother's love is pure and self-giving. Present 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no salary, no bonus, no promotions... no day-off.
So on this day... I want to greet all the moms out there... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!